I lived a rather full life in my early twenties, when I moved to Washington, DC. There, I experienced a plethora of situations and places and people… I’m going to chronicle a few from time to time, like this.

During my DC years, I took Ubers and Lyfts many, many times. This was among walking everywhere (averaging about 10 miles per day, sometimes more) and metro trips almost daily to work. But, between late nights out, rides home from my night job that was 40-min walk to closest metro, etc. - I relied heavily on these apps.

I always asked the drivers about themselves, their time in DC, being a driver, the places and people they’ve ended up with… I found Uber pretty fascinating at the time, a few years after it’d gone more mainstream.

OG UBER DRIVING

One dude told me he’d started from the beginning - back when Uber/Lyft hadn’t been turned into verbs for ride-sharing.

A woman had him take her daughter (very young) to her father’s place, a few blocks up the street. Nervously, the driver set off - and for some reason (I can’t remember if it was a busted tail light or what), he was pulled over for a routine stop by a cop (he wasn’t being reckless!).

Explaining the app and situation to the cop was damn near impossible to do without sounding sus. The mother was called and the cop followed him to the destination.

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TED CRUISED

Another time, I asked the very kind man driving me whether he’d ever driven someone important. This was a common question - as I assumed many of the drivers (usually with hundreds and occasionally over 1K rides under their belts) had driven around diplomats, or other who’s who of DC.

The individual proceeded to tell me that once, he drove a certain three-letter-named Texas rep around, along with his aide in front - and a young lady in back, aside said three-letter name rep. Throughout the ride, the TX rep kept asking the driver if his phone (propped up by a holder, to be used as a GPS as all Ubers do) was recording - and even to take it down, to which the driver replied - ok, how should I navigate to where we are going… Eventually, they arrived - after which, all parties exited, and the aide held back and slipped the driver $200 cash for a what happens in the Uber stays there deal. WTF!?

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BE OUR GUEST: BRIAN

Now this story flew back into my memory after I typed the phrase in the previous story ~ “the who’s who of DC”. That’s because the first time I heard that phrase was from a crusty-but-kind bartender named Brian.

Brian had tended bars across DC for years - like, multiple decades.

His personality was jaded in the best kind of ‘I’ve worked in fancy restaurants for 30+ years’ way. When asking him similar questions about his experience bartending across the nation’s Capitol, boy did he have stories to share.

First, there was the time he was working at a bar attached to The Ritz Carlton. He said it was trashy, but the crowd was often made up of “the who’s who of DC”. A young woman and man kept asking him to refill a teapot (‘what the hell are they doing taking up prime real estate at the bar for eking tea, Brian thought._ He’d later see the woman on TV and realize it’d been Monica Lewinsky and Vernon Jordan. (Not surprising. Even back in 2021 we were watching men come to dinner with their families, send them home in a xab, then link up with a few other old guys from their work at the group bar-top, plus a handful of all-female, super young interns. The group bar-top is notable because it was about 7 feet from when you walked in, front and center, far before you step into the lower-set dining room.)

Second was another time he was still working at The Ritz. He kept hearing piano playing either pre or early into a shift. It was clashing with the music and random, naturally he was irritated. Finally, he busted into a room to find Stevie Wonder sitting at a piano, he was preparing for his Kennedy Center Honors performance later that evening. Brian shut the door and STFUed.

Lastly, there was the time he got pissed off at Wee Man, who he did not realize at the time was Wee Man.

That’s all for now!