It’s a strange world I’m in right now.

For one, I work remote - a convenience and autonomy that has fueled some of my most prized efforts and professional development. It’s also a huge departure from the life I led (and loved) in DC, where I commuted on the metro daily to the office, then an Uber to the restaurant. So much to see each day,  so many people to run into, interactions to be had.

Second, I spend a lot of time analyzing and tinkering with social media in work and my personal life. Both scenarios - #remotework and #socialanalysis - leave me pondering a very big thing. Even with tight relationships among loved ones, a city I love, a home where I feel secure, and many other fortunes: Am I lonely?

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In the wake of Threads’ initial hype and Twitter’s rebirth from the dumpster fire as X, looking at news of a cage fight between the two billionaires behind the social giants, I ponder: What would we all be doing with the time spent on social, where the global average is nearly 2.5 hours per day?

While I love social - and use it avidly (and  will continue to do so); What these tools give is digital connection - an illusion of the real thing. 

We’ve achieved always-on access to one another, with a variety of formats for communication: A 3-slide carousel of “random” images that actually tell you a bit about what I did and cared about in the last few months; A FaceTime that, through a simple hand gesture, reveals to a friend you just got engaged; A long-standing group chat between you and the girls who miss each other more than words can say, and punctuate their days with joy via a stream of dumb, funny videos shared in the largely conversation-less chat.

Loneliness is “a subjective feeling that the human connections we need in our life exceed the human connections we have,” as the Atlantic puts it. Even in the wake of COVID-19 isolation, these feelings, anxiety, and depression have intensified. 

Only in the delusion that social makes us closer could we make it here: A point of ultimate connectedness, paralleled by mass loneliness. 

Since COVID we’ve heard of concerns around isolation’s impact. This year, we see headlines like February’s ‘Teen girls report record levels of sadness’ from NYT and more recently, ‘How loneliness shrinks your brain: Underappreciated public health crisis’ from the New York Post.

But it’s not all so super-sad though. With a shift in how we use these apps, the awareness to better balance our real life needs with digital ones, and the next generation hell-bent to change the world, things can change. I even asked Bard (Google AI) if there’s anything to be optimistic about related to the loneliness epidemic - and it came up with this: 

• We are becoming aware of the problem. In the past, loneliness was often seen as a personal failing or a sign of weakness. But now, we are starting to understand that loneliness is a real public health issue with serious consequences for our physical and mental health.
• There are new interventions and programs being developed to address loneliness, like programs and interventions designed to help people connect with others. These programs range from social prescribing (where a doctor or other healthcare professional refers a patient to a community activity) to online platforms that connect people with similar interests.
• People are becoming more creative in finding ways to connect with others. In recent years, we have seen a growing trend of people using technology to connect with others in new and innovative ways. For example, there are now apps that allow people to meet up for coffee or lunch, or to find others to go for walks with. There are also online forums and chat rooms where people can connect with others who share their interests.

Everything’s all good - so long as we aren’t replacing routine human contact with digital; Use things like social to COMPLEMENT relationships - not in replacement of real-life connection. Sometimes it’s as simple as a walk outside, for me. But I always feel refreshed and inspired after hanging out with a friend, or meeting someone new. Experiences like the El Paso Matter’s book club are a chance to share in the local community, or Creative Mornings nation-wide chapter meet-ups, for creative discussions over breakfast.

Anything worth sharing that cures your lonely days? 

Sources

_Smart Insights, Global time spent on social per day 2023 https://bit.ly/3KiSWeQ 

_The Atlantic, How to know you’re lonely https://bit.ly/3Ks7vgg 

_New York Post, How loneliness shrinks your brain: Underappreciated public health crisis https://bit.ly/3DGOfro 

_New York Times, Teen girls report record levels of sadness https://nyti.ms/44TweSY 

_Quote in graphic from NIH, Loneliness: A disease? (2013) https://bit.ly/3rNSY85